Women quit sex after cancer

Women quit sex after cancer

Women quit sex after cancer.

I was saddened but not surprised to read a recent headline in the Daily Mirror newspaper quoted the results of a survey from the UK’s Breast Cancer Care charity.

They asked nearly 1,000 women of whom almost 95% said cancer treatment had stopped them from having sex. This figure included a high percentage of women who had been diagnosed three or more years previously indicating that women struggle with this problem for a long time.

Of the total of women surveyed 94% reported that side effects of their life-saving treatment such as surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy or hormone therapies had stopped them having sex and they blamed the adverse impact on their libido, uncomfortable vaginal dryness and reduced self-esteem.

More than two-thirds said they were not warned about the possible detrimental impact of their treatment on their sex life and the majority reported they did not receive adequate support from health professionals.

Samia al Qadhi, Chief Executive of Breast Cancer Care, said, ‘These figures paint a troubling picture of the reality for countless women whose relationships and sex lives are sidelined – sometimes permanently.’ She continued, ‘Everyday we hear from women with dramatic scars, hair loss and intimate physical changes. The treatment for breast cancer can be utterly traumatic and side effects can continue for years.’

When I read the article in the newspaper, it hit home to me that for every traumatised woman there must be quite often a traumatised partner too also sidelined and cut adrift by a system not geared up to resolve the emotional fallout of these treatments and the inevitable physical changes that survival has demanded.

Clearly, cancer survivors, in particular, are exposed to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from both the diagnosis and the rigours of the treatment.

It feels cruel indeed to submit women to all of what cancer treatment entails to continue living and yet not be given every possible support to thrive fully.

I work with a lot of clients living with chronic disease and have worked over the years with many women survivors of breast cancer too.

The work often needs to begin by exploring how their image of who they are has so fundamentally changed and that naturally brings with it grief and sadness for the person they were before their illness.

There are similar feelings of loss acknowledged by most of my clients who are living with the fall-out from chronic disease. The loss of one’s former self is felt very strongly and deserves to be acknowledged and mourned.
There is no expectation of clients having to accommodate a blanket acceptance of everything that has happened to them on the premise of ‘I can’t dwell on this because I’m lucky to be alive’. The work gives a voice to all of their emotions from anger and sadness to fear, and the work can only be transformational if those emotions are acknowledged as valid.

When working therapeutically with life-changing issues such as these, it is wonderful to be able to work directly with the sub-conscious mind. Working in this way cuts through all of the subtle and not so subtle pressure to be brave or stoic or whatever else is going on so that powerful changing can be made at a profound level.

It is important not to underestimate the enduring trauma of partners, parents and other family members too. Their need for therapy to resolve the residual fears they are holding on to and their own sadness can get lost in the relief of their loved one’s recovery. However, it is vital to work so that everyone is able to unite once more in their new landscape.

Survivors of cancer need to find a way to fully come home to themselves and that journey is just as vital for their complete recovery than the chemo or whatever else they had. Therapy can bring them back to who they are, even as charged as they may be. It can also give them the choice and hopefully the desire to reconnect with the sexual part of themselves and renew their emotional relationships. The aim is never just to survive but to fully thrive again.

If you have recovered from cancer or know someone who has who continues to struggle to reconnect with who they are then you can book an obligation free call with me here on this page. If you thought survival was your goal but now you’re ready to thrive then its time to reach out.

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.

 

Dieting is the wrong focus for overweight kids and teens

Dieting is the wrong focus for overweight kids and teens

For parents who have teenagers struggling with their weight, a recent study in Cleveland, USA showed that encouraging them to diet sent the wrong message and could have long-lasting adverse effects on their relationship with food.

Researchers followed more than five-hundred teens in the US who had been told to diet. After checking back in with them some fifteen years later, the researchers found that the diet group they studied were now more likely to be overweight and have problems with their body image than a control group who were not told to diet.

Experts from many countries now agree that focussing on dieting at a young age can create a dysfunctional relationship with food that can influence a person’s eating behaviours for decades.

Seeing dieting as a negative influence is due in part to the fact that most diets are calorie restrictive and the compulsion to eat and even overeat can feel overwhelming when one is experiencing enforced hunger and lead to yo-yo dieting.

A pattern of behaviour develops for many yo-yo dieters of commitment to the latest fad diet-plan only to give up and regain the weight they lost plus usually more too. This pattern of weight loss and weight loss can hurt self-esteem as people feel like failures when in fact it was the diet that failed them.

So, how does acknowledging that focussing on diets with young people can be counter-productive sit with a recent campaign initiated in some UK schools that intend to send a letter home to parents to alert them that their child is overweight? The idea behind the letters is in response to a record number of under-11s who are already too heavy and who are potentially contributing to a national health crisis.

The ‘fat-shaming’ letters have sparked a debate as to whether sending these notifications to parents are cruel or a necessary evil to prompt parents to act. The discussion also poses the question that if your child is overweight as a parent do you already know this and are in denial or just not sure what to do for the best?

It is not clear from advance information whether the letters advise parents on how to tackle their child’s obesity and whether putting a child on a diet is recommended or not.

Apparently what the letter doesn’t address is the causal link between childhood obesity and food poverty when lower-income families struggle to provide nutritious and satisfying food on a tight budget. The ability to provide nourishing meals if further hampered when the adults in the household are not skilled at home cooking or do not have access to adequate cooking facilities.

A more promising approach that came from the US study of teens reported that instead of focusing on what not to eat it is better to focus on the health and nutrition that comes with eating well. To achieve this will mean teaching children about how to buy, prepare and eat real food versus the drawbacks of eating junk food.

Influencing young people with sound information about proper nutrition is harder to achieve as many of the world’s largest ‘frankenfood’, and soda manufacturers regularly contribute to the funding and the creation of misleading or biased resources for schools and colleges.

The report also recommended teaching young people mindful eating so that kids learn to slow down their eating and focus on their meal times by turning off devices so that consumption doesn’t happen in a zoned out way while occupied doing something else.

“It’s so important to give teens these skills at this juncture in their life, and I talk to parents about tools, not rules. So moving away from food rules but helping them change their habits around the way they eat,” said Susan Albers, at the Cleveland Clinic.

Experts also recommend helping your teenager learn to manage stress by relaxing, reading or going for a walk, as opposed to turning to food. That will help steer them away from comfort-eating and swallowing down their emotions with food which leads to emotional eating.

If you or a member of your family is struggling with weight loss or weight management food may have become a way to manage painful emotions including anxiety and anger. If this sounds familiar, you can book an obligation free call on this page.

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.

 

Therapy Digest 08

Therapy Digest 08

 

 

Therapy Digest 08  
Catching my eye in my therapy practice and in the media right now are relationships and the damage lies can cause;  Our primaeval need for true connection in the time of tech obsession and how jealousy hurts no one but yourself – so let it go!

Playing for connection – our need to deeply connect with each other has got lost

Maybe it is as if the addictive power of the latest shiny tech smartphone or tablet might be loosening its grip on us all at last – or at least for some of us. Or, maybe it’s just not so great after all that everyone is plugged into their own gadgets having their independent, but solitary experiences online.

Whatever the cause, there has been a recent resurgence in the popularity of playing board games with friends in cafe´s or bars and for families spending an evening together in their sitting rooms.

A clue for this is that the most powerful drive of human nature is of connection to one another. We thirst for it and literally cannot thrive without it. It’s primaeval and these instincts are hardwired into our ‘old brain’. The ‘old brain’ is the innermost part of the brain, the part nearest the spinal cord.

It’s this part of our brain that carries out the same functions for us today as they did for our ancient ancestors. The ‘old brain’ is in charge of basic survival functions, such as breathing, moving, resting, and feeding, and creates our experiences of emotion. Further brain layers developed in mammals including humans that provide more advanced functions—for instance, better memory, more sophisticated social interactions, and the ability to experience emotions.

In recent years smartphones and tablets have changed the way we spend time together so that even when in the same room together attention can be fractured or disassociated by the sound of an electronic ping.

A board game is a perfect antidote to the tech overwhelm many are experiencing today. In fact, there’s nothing like a board game played between two or more people to bring attention back to the here and now.

What is also great about board games is how the structure and rules of a game allow friends or family to express healthy competition under the guise of playing a game.’

With board games, there is a compelling emotional link to childhood for people. In many cases, although of course not everyone, childhood felt like a less chaotic or challenging time, and we can be nostalgic for that too.

Board games give people an even playing field to compete with each other and permission to go all-out to win. This can make thrashing your mates at Scrabble momentarily heartening especially for those who are struggling in other areas of their life.

Work for many has never felt more pressured, and relationships can be complicated, so even a small victory is a victory.

Research by Alex Lickerman, M.D., author of ‘Happiness in this World: Reflections of a Buddhist Physician’ confirms that when couples actively compete together whether in a sporting capacity such as on a volleyball team; a treasure hunt team; or even the same team for a group board game there are definite benefits.

For instance, it enhances their sense of cohesiveness, often even if they lose.

He further suggests a strong connection is reinforced by shared experience, the antithesis of our tech experience.
Gil Greengross, Ph.D., author of ‘Humor Sapiens: The laughing ape and other insights into the nature of funny.’ recommended catching a funny movie or going to a comedy club.

Hip also said “Sharing a laugh together is always helpful, but often couples are too stuck in their routines to crack each other up. Letting someone else tell the jokes takes away pressure.” —

All of these activities break patterns of behaviour that can make our intimate relationships or how we interact with our friends seem stuck in a rroutine that might not give us what we need.

Robert Taibbi, the author of ‘Fixing Families: Tools for walking the intergenerational tightrope,’ gave some great advice when he said “If you need more affection, give it. More sex, offer it. More listening, do it. By giving what you desire, you break old relationship patterns and let your partner know what relationship elements matter to you.”

So, if you’re looking for a more significant connection with the people love and care about turn off the tech and sit around a table to play some board games. You never know where a game of Scrabble could lead…

If you are struggling to find a connection with others or even connecting to yourself you may need a few more strategies than a game of Monopoly can afford to make the first move and connect with me via the Discovery Call link on this page and we can take it from there.

Would I lie to you? And how would you know?

We are seemingly living in the age of post-truth and even blatant lies so it can feel daunting to be a seeker of truth in our personal relationships. There is so much deception, and hidden agendas its challenging to know if you are being lied to or cheated on.

However, our bodies always do try to tell the truth – and you can read the signs if you know what to look for.

Someone who is lying to you will often show it with their body language. A liar can do this by almost slipping into themselves, slouching and shrinking. This is a subconscious attempt to protect themselves while they lie.

They may also lean away from you, and that could be a tell-tale sign that they’re uncomfortable and their body is exposing that. Lean in towards them and watch their reaction. Do they look more uncomfortable? Do they move away?

Observe if a person crosses their legs so that their top leg blocks you. Or, if they sit with their back half turned towards you. or places their hands on their opposite side from you. You can also pay to see if their hands are held away from you or that they’re pointing their feet towards the room’s exit in a sub-conscious acknowledgement of their escape route.

Someone telling the truth tends to have a more open body posture indicating again subconsciously that they have nothing to hide so that they are comfortable being physically more open.

Another indicator of someone lying is that they will self-sooth to calm themselves by doing things like repeatedly touching their face or rubbing their forehead.

Equally, the more skilful a person is with lying they already know about these sub-conscious indicators that could give them away as lying and work hard to counter them consciously.

Liars typically want to trick the other person into thinking they’re calmer than they are, so they choreograph their movements to reflect this by trying to manifest a fake aura of calm.

So if someone’s face seems expressionless, like a poker-face or their arms are pinned at their sides so that they look unnaturally still they might be making a great deal of covert effort to look calm and trustworthy when they’re not at all. In fact, this kind of poker-face lying and conscious control of their body language is indicative of a skilled liar, making it difficult to discern the truth.

It’s not surprising that a lack of eye contact is one of the most conspicuous non-verbal signs that someone is lying. You can see it with small children who have been caught out doing something they’re not supposed to do. Children look away or look down when they’re lying as they desperately want to disengage from the situation and haven’t as yet developed the guile to do anything else more convincing or compelling to cover their lies.

People understand on a deep primaeval level that eye contact is an essential part of normal conversation and when someone tries to avoid eye contact it feels very uncomfortable and unsettling.

Depending on how long you’ve been exposed to a person’s lies and how skilled they are at lying, it is almost impossible for most liars not to have inconsistencies in their story.

Counter-intuitively liars often embellish their stories with extraneous detail to make their lies seem more credible. You might think if they were lying they would tell their stories with expansive and vague brush strokes keeping detail to a minimum but this isn’t often the case.

One lie a client was told was about a car journey that took her partner out of town for a couple of days on what it turned out was a fake work trip supposedly over the Pennine Hills of Northern England. He came back with ‘real-life’ details of how his journey had been hampered with landslide warnings. This was a credible detail used to embellish his story. It turned out to be a complete fabrication as later my client found out he hadn’t gone far at all and was ensconced in luxury London Hotel for the weekend.

Another woman’s husband told her their telephone line was regularly unplugged from its socket by their dog playing with his toy rubber-bone in the hallway. He blamed the dog for covering the fact that it was him who regularly disconnected the landline when she was home during the evening so that credit card companies he was indebted to could not connect him via their landline.

If you’re suspicious, listen carefully to their story. If you’re in a relationship with someone you suspect of lying you will want to give them the benefit of the doubt as nothing is more painful than being lied to by someone you care about. Catching a liar out in a lie may be as easy as questioning them on one inaccuracy in their story.

Finally, your best lie detector is your intuition or gut instinct. Your intuition is your best friend, It has no other agenda than taking care of you and only ever wants what is best for you so if you feel uncomfortable about something or someone you need to listen to your instinct. In hindsight, lots of people will say how I never really trusted them, but I had no idea why not – well that was their gut instinct saying watch out! Don’t be one of those who over-rode their instinct and regretted it. Just ask yourself; How do I feel about this” and listen to your intuition because it is always telling you the truth.

Sally was recently interviewed by MTV to fast track viewers of their new TV series ‘True Love or True Lies.’ She gave insights into body manner and behaviours to help people recognise the give-away signs that liars find hard to hide when they are not telling the truth.

If you have been lying to yourself or others or are left broken-hearted by betrayal and lies reach out now to make contact with an obligation free discovery call.

 

Feeling jealousy when you see an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend out with their new beau says a lot more about how you think and feel about yourself than just reacting to the pang of the green-eyed monster.

Ex’s are ex’s for all the right reasons so you can wish every last one of them well and thank the lucky stars that you are not with them anymore. Being footloose means, you can focus on doing things that make you happy and increase your sense of self-confidence and self-fulfilment.

To wholeheartedly let go of your past you need to trust that your future is positive and the best is still to come. You may need to fake that feeling until you can own it for yourself and make inner-optimism your default mindset.

Even with only a glass half full approach to life, you are more open to possibilities and new beginnings than the glass half empty jealousy mantra you’ve been focusing on about someone who’s not even worth the mental attention you are paying them. It’s just BS thoughts so stop it now!

Some people have a well-developed sense of resilience – the ability to bounce back from disappointments and let-downs. You can often tell who they are as they are fortunate enough to have unwavering faith in themselves and their ability to recover from all sorts of adversity. They are not prone to jealous feelings are they are determined to live their lives and thrive.

Not everyone’s childhood was ideal, and the seeds of jealous reactions and self-doubt were probably sown when you were growing up. Sometimes childhood experiences hamper you developing your inner-resilience, and this affects your ability to shrug off disappointments in love too.

if you are the kind of person who struggles more with self-doubt and self-esteem issues, there is plenty you can do develop those core skills now and to move on from past relationships and leave jealousy behind you.

To help you to do that learn to interrupt your over-thinking when you find yourself replaying the ‘What if’s and the ‘If only’s’. Ruminating on the past is called disordered thinking, and it’s a stumbling block to your happiness.

If you naturally feel pessimistic and your self-esteem feels battered by past relationship breakdowns you could help yourself gain some useful perspective by acknowledging the reality of those relationships.

 

It’s easy to hanker over some overly-romanticised and idealised version of what you two had together. Seriously, if your ex-lover was that great why did he or she make you feel insecure, doubt yourself, or make you feel sad? And, why did they end up sleeping with your best friend?

The dreaded re-coupling with an unsuitable ex often takes place in a moment of self-doubt when you’ve managed to over-ride your gut instinct that is shouting ‘No!’ Come on it happens and you can find yourself back in a relationship that is not good for you. Take a deep breath and connect with your inner courage that is there hidden and often ignored in all of us before you break the news that ‘It’s me and not you’ and leave them to get on with their own life while you duster yourself down and prepare for more. Coupledom might be called settling down, but it’s not called settling for less.

The person out there in the world for you is the one who makes your world a better, happier place to live in and who sticks around to work things out with you. The way you’re guaranteed to find him, or she is to kick jealousy into touch and get busy enjoying your life to your utmost will make you magnetic and irresistible.

Do you find yourself attracted to partners who let you down but find it hard to break those ties? If jealousy is one of your key emotional responses, it’s time to let go of old patterns of behaviour that do not serve you. You can book an obligation free call with me via the link on this page.

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.

 

Eat your way out of depression

Eat your way out of depression

Nutrition fights depression

 

Eat your way out of depression

Nutrition-related health issues seem to take an age to become part of accepted medical practice. The medical establishment requires comprehensive scientific evaluation, randomised trials and peer review before a new drug can be licensed, for instance.

The pharmaceutical company has to weigh up the costs of research and development versus the potential profit to be made from launching a successful product that can earn a good return on their investment. (When you add in the factor that 80 per cent of their budget goes on marketing, it is clear the stakes are high indeed.)

As real food is simply real food and can’t be licensed, branded or patented, there is little impetus for the business community to fund costly research.

Medical research over the last couple of decades has, nevertheless, highlighted how an unhealthy gut could contribute to many physical diseases and these findings are becoming more accepted in mainstream medicine. Clinicians increasingly agree that the gut-brain axis also plays a crucial part in emotional well-being, including the development of conditions as diverse as chronic fatigue syndrome, depression and autism.

The gut-brain axis is a way of describing the interrelationship between gut health and brain health. The various aspects of digestion are controlled via the vagus nerves by a complex set of neurons embedded in the oesophagus, stomach, intestines, colon and rectum. The brain sends messages to all the nerves in your body, including the neurons that control digestion. All works efficiently enough until a person is anxious or stressed on an ongoing basis. You perhaps know for yourself that if you are feeling nervous your stomach can feel upset and queasy. The reason for this is that strong negative emotions, stress and anxiety increase cortisol and adrenaline, which then stimulate the sympathetic nervous system and shut down the parasympathetic nervous system, which includes control of the gut.
This causes a physical chain reaction:

Reduction in pancreatic enzyme production
Reduction in gallbladder function
Reduction in the production of stomach acid
Slowing down of peristalsis – the involuntary muscle movements essential for moving food efficiently through the intestines for the absorption of nutrients
Reduction in blood flow to the intestines
Suppression of the intestinal immune system.

In the short term, this allows the body to focus its resources on ‘fight or flight’ – a good survival mechanism. However, with ongoing stress and anxiety, this cumulative slowing down and suppression of the digestive process can, over a prolonged period, lead to a condition called ‘small intestinal bacterial overgrowth’ (SIBO).

As the digestive process is compromised by stress and anxiety, the lack of stomach acid allows the stomach and small intestine – which should both be pretty much microbe-free – to be colonised by unhealthy bacteria, and yeasts, causing foods to be fermented rather than digested. In addition to gas and bloating, compromised digestion leads to declining absorption of nutrients, which contributes to the loss of the co-factors needed for good digestion and consequently further gut problems.

Now consider this situation lasting for extended periods of time. The integrity of the gut lining may be compromised, contributing to gut permeability (‘leaky gut’) that may be sufficient to produce chronic low-grade inflammation.

The inflammatory process includes the production of cytokines, chemical signals of inflammation that are carried by the blood to the brain. The cytokines can activate cells in the brain called ‘microglia’ – the brain’s immune cells – so that the inflammation originating in the gut thereby causes widespread inflammation in the rest of the body, including in the brain.

The impact of brain inflammation is that the brain has reduced nerve conductance which – guess what – shows up as depression, anxiety and stress.

This vicious circle can self-perpetuate and requires long-term changes to heal the gut, which in turn will help to heal the brain. This is done through changes in behaviour and improving levels of nutrition through changes to food choices. To improve your natural resilience to stress it is important to increase the amount of healthy polyunsaturated omega-3 oils in your diet, so look for oily fish, grass-fed meats and butter made from the milk of grass-fed dairy herds.

If you consider yourself to be depressed, it will be helpful for your recovery to manage your stress levels, improve your sleep patterns and add nutritious and gut-healing foods into your regular eating plan. For information about all this and more see the end of this post.

Do bear in mind, however, that you may also need professional help if you have been suffering from this debilitating psychological disorder for some time. Please make sure you are accessing all the medical and psychological support you need. Try hard not to add isolation to an already challenging situation.

Gut health

As we have said, the health of your digestive system is increasingly acknowledged to be the key to your potential to be physically healthy and well. You cannot be entirely well if your digestion is out of kilter. However, you may not be aware that your digestive functioning is impaired. Many factors affect your digestion that is commonplace in our busy, modern lives. They include poor quality sleep, stress and anxiety (as explained above), stimulants such as alcohol and recreational drugs, and many prescription medications, including antibiotics.

Feeling sluggish, bloated or out of sorts becomes the usual way of feeling if it goes on for long enough. Add in processed foods and fast foods that are calorie dense and nutritionally poor, and your body becomes progressively less efficient at supporting a healthy immune system and fighting infections. Perhaps you’re already beginning to recognise yourself from this brief description.

You do not need to have had a medical diagnosis of Crohn’s disease (IBD) or irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) to be experiencing the symptoms of digestive disruption. How about occasional, mysterious abdominal pain or fluctuating between diarrhoea and constipation or indigestion, heartburn and flatulence? Many people live with these symptoms for decades without ever consulting a doctor. It is as if they are resigned to feeling below par, and that this is how they expect to feel.

To find out more about how to maximise the health benefits of eating real food, then check out the book Sally Baker and Liz Hogon wrote called ‘How to Feel Differently About Food’ published by Hammersmith Books. Available from Amazon.

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.

 

Nudge yourself towards success

Nudge yourself towards success

The Nudge Theory is about nudging or encouraging behavioural changes through positive reinforcement and indirect suggestion. In the wider world Nudge Theory has been applied to economics, politics and health. Supporters in the effectiveness of the theory exist in the hallowed halls of academia, the White House under Obama and in the British Government to name but a few.

So, how can Nudge Theory be applied to you eating healthier in your own life?

Your existing habits, thoughts and beliefs have brought you to where you are today, so nudging towards making positive changes is vital in allowing easy changes and maintaining them in the future.

Decide when
In practical terms, this means choosing a time to initiate changes that have the most chance of success. It is surprising how many people set themselves up to fail by launching a new initiative without thinking through how much they already have to do with their life.

Look at your diary for an opportunity when there may be a lull in stress levels at home or work or a time when you can give more energy to embrace fundamental changes to your usual eating habits. If you are canny with your timing, you will be giving yourself a head start towards success.

Ditch the crap
Behaving with your usual default habits around food perpetuates you feeling the same way about yourself. It is a truism that if you keep doing what you have always done, you’ll get the same results you’ve always got before.

Reaching for snacks in your kitchen that you have always reached for maintains the status quo, so an essential part of your preparation is to ditch the old low nutritious, poor quality processed foods in your cupboards and replace them with tastier and highly nutritious options. If you’re not the only family member using the kitchen, then separate out their foods from yours and claim space and ownership of the foods you want to eat.

Ideally your efforts to maximise your health and well being would be supported by all family members, but more often than not you will face resistance. If you wait for everyone in your life to come on-board you could wait a lifetime so be the change you want to see in your life; set your own standard and let them see how much healthier and happier you are. It’s about doing something for yourself.

Just because you’ve decided to nudge yourself towards better nutrition doesn’t mean you will magic away all your impulses to snack.

This is especially true while you are adjusting to this new way of eating and feeling about food. The nudge ensures everything you need is at hand to fulfil your mealtime and snacking requirements to maximise your nutrition. This may mean shopping differently and stocking your cupboards and fridge with different foods.

You will find a comprehensive list of real foods in the ‘Foods to Marry’ section of Sally Baker & Liz Hogon’s book ‘How to Feel Differently About Food’ published by Hammersmith Books. Available from Amazon

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.