Answer These 5 Questions to Find Out if Your Partner Respects You
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Respect is the key to any healthy relationship.
To communicate openly and honestly, you and your partner need to have respect for one another.
It takes mutual respect to come to agreements and to reach a compromise. So, if you suspect that your partner doesn’t respect you, then your relationship is probably in trouble already. Therapist Sally Baker asks the questions you need to.
If you have doubts – you’re probably in denial
If you’re in a relationship where you feel you are not being shown respect, you need to acknowledge that this is an indicator of potential emotional or physical abuse. Lack of respect is the starting point of dehumanising behaviour which needs to be addressed immediately. Otherwise, it may develop and become normalised within your relationship.
There may be a time when you believe you are not being respected because your partner doesn’t realise the effect that their behaviour has on you. This is your chance to clarify if these are just momentary lapses in behaviour – or how they really are as people. To do this, you’ll need to call it out.
Highlight how it feels when they ignore you, speak over you or put you down and see how they respond. Try really hard not to fool yourself here.
Soulmates don’t make you feel bad about yourself, so if you are not getting clear signs back from your partner about how sorry they are and how they will never behave in this way again, you need to be prepared to let them go.
1. Do they speak over you or interrupt you?
Disrespect can be shown through small actions such as your partner speaking over you, interrupting you, or making little decisions without your input.
If you start to notice this kind of behaviour make sure to call it out and let your partner know that it’s bothering you.
2. Does your partner consult with you?
If your partner tends to make decisions – large or small – without consulting with you first.
Make it clear that you are not happy with the situation and give them an opportunity to change how they behave. Try to do this in a non-accusatory way. Encourage a conversation instead of expressing a judgement about the kind of person they are.
3. Do you have to make excuses for them?
Are you left in the awkward position of having to explain some of your partner’s behaviour, to your friends or family?
When people who love and care for you don’t quite see the appeal of your chosen one then you need to take a closer look too. If the people who care about you the most aren’t sold then alarm bells should be ringing in your head.
4. Do you compromise to keep the peace?
The healthiest relationships are pretty balanced between who compromises and who doesn’t. It’s never going to be 50:50 split but it should even out over time. It’s about being heard and supported and not just being put down all of the time.
5. Is it all your fault?
If you feel you are to blame all of the time and your partner is quick to point out that you’re at fault, then you are most likely not respected in your relationship.
Worse than that is that being invariably found to be in the wrong and being blamed for how ‘bad’ you make the other person feel is called ‘gaslighting’ and is a form of emotional abuse.
Respect is crucial for a healthy relationship
So have these 5 quick questions promoted you to reappraise your relationship?
If you were to take the time and really listen to your gut instinct or your intuition, then you will hear the truth for sure. It’s hard to walk away from a relationship you care about but understand that respect is a crucial emotion and if it is not there then nothing good can build on those hollow foundations.
Here’s the link to read this post on the ThriveGlobal.com platform.
If you are struggling to appraise your relationship or feel you are repeating a pattern of behaviour that doesn’t work for you then make contact with Sally Baker via the link on this page for an obligation free discovery call.
Sally Baker is Senior Therapist, published Author and Speaker in private practice in London for face to face sessions and the world over via the internet.
With almost twenty years of professional experience, she employs cutting-edge therapeutic approaches to help one person at a time to transform their lives.
She has extensive experience working with people to alleviate their anxiety, depression, anger issues, eating disorders as well as conflicts within relationships and the family.
To find out more about Sally Baker, her books and her work visit her website, www.workingonthebody.com