What blocks you from loving yourself?

What blocks you from loving yourself?

The idea of ‘self-love’ is a popular aspiration for many people these days along with achieving zen-like mindfulness or lithely moving from downward-facing dog to sun-salutation without as much as breaking a sweat.

All these goals sound great in theory and why wouldn’t anyone not want to love themselves?

The only drawback is that self-love is bandied around as if it’s something that’s easy and effortless for all to achieve.

If that were true, then everyone would just be getting on with it, and it wouldn’t be a thing. But it is a ‘thing.

The Challenge of self-love
Self-love doesn’t feel like a natural state for all of us and perhaps trying to achieve it is just another way of beating yourself up for failing at something you think everyone else is managing as if they were born to it.

Rest assured as many people struggle with achieving self-love as find yoga sweaty and uncomfortable.

One of the most common obstacles to loving yourself is the little negative voice in your head that whispers in your ear a running commentary on everything you do or say.

Now, if on hearing about your inner voice your response is, ‘What inner voice – I don’t have one’, then that is your inner voice. Your inner voice runs a continuous internal dialogue commenting on everything you do and often makes judgments on how well you do it too.

What does your inner voice say to you?
For many people, their inner voice is rarely a source of uplifting encouragement. It is more likely to be an unremitting flow of self-criticism and negative self-judgments, and it acts as an effective block to self-love.

Tuning in, and hearing your inner voice is the crucial first step to silencing the dispiriting stream of negativity that can be happening continuously, just below your conscious awareness like a toxic dripping tap.

I would like to encourage you to spend a little quiet time, just a few moments, every day for about a week to tune-in to your inner voice. Just listen and note down the negative statements it says while being aware of the use of language, idiom, slang or accent of your inner voice.

Where does your negative voice originate?
Begin to get a sense of where the negative voice originated – does it remind you of anyone in your past – a parent, a teacher or a grandparent.

The first step towards turning off your negative voice is to gain a greater awareness of your unique brand of negative self-talk. Train yourself to be more attuned to your inner voice and instead of allowing it a free pass to your sub-conscious mind become aware of it.

By just clocking it you are changing the dynamic and starting to diminish your inner voice’s power to block your self-love and then in your mind you can dismiss it for just what it is – a BS thought.

Your aim is to transform your critical, carping inner voice into your most enthusiastic cheerleader. You can do this easily in just a couple of weeks of awareness. With your inner voice finally whispering words of encouragement and reminding you how fabulous you are self-love does become you’re effortless, natural state.

Book a discovery call
If you are struggling to transform your inner voice from carping to celebratory you can book an obligation-free discovery call with me to explore what is getting in your way of self-love.

If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.


What is EFT ?

What is EFT ?


The history of EFT is fascinating. Its origins lie in traditional Chinese Medicine, including acupuncture, which has been the primary form of medicine in

China for more than 5000 years. Recent research has confirmed the flow of energy (Qi) along these invisible meridians, or pathways in the body.

Acupuncture was originally developed to treat physical problems, although today practitioners frequently use it also to treat anxiety and stress.

Dr George Goodheart, a chiropractor in the US, developed an interest in acupuncture, and went on to introduce a new method into his practice called ‘Applied Kinesiology’, which is a form of muscle testing. He achieved the same results as acupuncture by tapping on the acupuncture points. Australian psychiatrist, John Diamond MD, then went on to create another variant of this wherein he had the client tapping on the same points, and repeating positive affirmations to treat any emotional symptoms.

Dr Roger Callahan went further to find that by tapping certain algorithms, or particular pattern, or tapping sequence, his patients were able to release specific anxieties, or phobias, and the first meridian tapping structures were created. If a client concentrated on a problem, or fear, and tapped at the same time, following a specific pattern, then the issue could be resolved, in some cases permanently. Thought Field Therapy (TFT) was born.

Later it occurred to Gary Craig, who had studied TFT extensively with Callahan, that a single algorithm, or pattern of tapping, might work just as well. Craig went on to develop his own individual single algorithm which he called ‘Emotional Freedom Techniques’ (EFT).

EFT is now the most influential and widely known Energy Psychology method in the world.

It has been used successfully in treatments for an incredibly wide variety of issues, including fears, anxieties, phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder, just to mention a few. EFT has also proved to be very successful as a technique for managing, or reducing the impact, and/or frequency of physical issues, such as migraines, tinitus, IBS, Fibromyalgia, and TN (Trigeminal Neuropathic facial nerve pain, to name but a few examples.

It is an easy enough technique to be mastered by most people, and you don’t have to believe in meridian energy pathways in the body for it to work.

Learn how to work successfully with EFT

To get started you need to turn off your phone and ensure that you have around 30 minutes in which you will not be disturbed. It would be helpful to familiarise yourself with all the ‘tapping points’ you may need to use. It’s easy to follow these in our diagram (see Figure 1).

As you become more adept, and learn to trust your own instincts more, you will find you’ll be able to naturally, and intuitively compose your own EFT setups, and find your own words to say as you tap around on each point. Your own words are always more powerful as they are customised to your own requirements, and then you will really feel how powerful and life changing EFT can be for you.

Click here for your own  EFT_Instructions


If you want to lead a happier more fulfilled life it’s almost impossible when you’re doubting yourself or sabotaging your chances of success. Therapy isn’t for everyone, but if you’ve ‘tried everything’ it could be just what you need. You can book an obligation-free 30-minute discovery call to find out for yourself.