Does your partner respect you? Answer these 5 questions….
Respect is the key to any healthy relationship.
To communicate openly and honestly you and your partner need to have respect for one another.
It takes mutual respect to come to agreements and to reach a compromise.
So, if you suspect that your partner doesn’t respect you, then your relationship is probably in trouble already.
If you have doubts – you’re probably in denial
If you are in a relationship where you feel you are not being shown respect you need to acknowledge that this is an indicator of serious future emotional or physical abuse. Lack of respect is the starting point of dehumanising behaviour which needs to be addressed immediately so that it’s not allowed to develop and become normalised within your relationship.
There may be a time when you believe you are not being respected is because your partner doesn’t realise the effects of his or her actions or behaviour has on you.
This is your chance to clarify if these are just momentary lapses in behaviour or just how they really are as people. To do this, you’ll need to call it out. Highlight how it feels when they ignore you or speak over you or put you down and see how they respond. Try really hard not to fool yourself here. Soulmates don’t make you feel bad about yourself, so if you are not getting clear signs back from your partner about how sorry they are and how they will never behave in this way again, you need to be prepared to let them go.
There are the five warning signs that may indicate if your partner doesn’t respect yo
1. Do they speak over you or interrupt you?
Disrespect can be shown through small actions such as your partner speaking over you, interrupting you, or making little decisions without your input.
If you start to notice this kind of behaviour make sure to call it out and let your partner know that it’s bothering you.
2. Does your partner consult with you?
If your partner tends to make decisions – large or small – without consulting with you first.
Make it clear to him or her that you are not happy with this situation and give them an opportunity to change how they behave. Try to do this in a non-accusatory way stop encourage a conversation instead of expressing a judgement about the kind of person your he or she is.
3. Do you have to make excuses for them?
Are you left in the awkward position of having to explain some of your partner’s behaviour, to your friends or family?
When people who love and care for you don’t quite see the appeal of your chosen one then you need to take a closer look at him or her too. If the people who know you and care about you all best of all have no hidden agenda and just wish you well then alarm bells should be ringing loud and clear if they don’t rate your partner.
4. Do you compromise to keep the peace?
The healthiest relationships are pretty balanced between who compromises and who doesn’t. At any point in time it’s probably not 50:50, but generally, it evens out so that both people respect each others standpoint and if its relevant to one of them then the other will try their best to accommodate them. It’s about being heard and supported and not just being put down all of the time.
5. Is it all your fault?
If you feel you are to blame all of the time and your partner is quick to point out to you that you’re at fault, then you are most likely not respected in your relationship. Worse than that is that being invariably found to be in the wrong and being blamed for how ‘bad’ you make the other person feel is called ‘gaslighting’ and is a form or emotional abuse.
Respect is crucial for a healthy relationship
So have these 5 quick questions promoted you to reappraise your relationship? Th real test for whether you are respected in a relationship or not is how do you feel? If you were to take the time and really listen to your gut instinct or your intuition, then you will hear the truth for sure. It’s hard to walk away from a relationship you care about but understand that respect is a crucial emotion and if it is not there then nothing good can build on those hollow foundations
If you are not sure what to do about your relationship but feel something is out of kilter, then reach out and make contact with me. Relationships often follow a pattern so understanding your relationship dynamic is the first step in transforming your essential ties with people. There is a link on this page to an obligation free discovery call.
Sally Baker is Senior Therapist, published Author and Speaker in private practice in London for face to face sessions and the world over via the internet.
With almost twenty years of professional experience, she employs cutting-edge therapeutic approaches to help one person at a time to transform their lives.
She has extensive experience working with people to alleviate their anxiety, depression, anger issues, eating disorders as well as conflicts within relationships and the family.
To find out more about Sally Baker, her books and her work visit her website, www.workingonthebody.com